Nerves

As much as I need to be studying for my midterms tomorrow, I can't seem to focus. I've got this giddy nervousness growing inside my stomach, and despite my best efforts (which are half-assed at most), I just can't shake it.

My heart is in Finland, and I'm not scared to say it. I've always been one to take very calculated risks, greatly increasing my chances of success, and as a result of such behavior, it seems I've forgotten what it really is to follow the feelings you've got.

Usually when I get a notion that seems outlandish, I push it aside and forget about it. It's not the case with El. I feel so much possibility when I talk with her that despite the risk, I feel like I need to go for it, and I've done just that. I've put my heart out on a string, teetering over an ocean of uncertainty, and I'm loving every minute of it, and I get to do so for the next 61 days. I also need to learn to quit counting days.

Usually such nerves are reserved only for the first real love in your life, a fond memory of a simpler time you can look back on with a drawn-out sigh. I suppose I'm lucky enough to get to experience the same thrill twice, and I've got El to thank for that. So, thanks. ^_^