Befriend

Some people are known to have an “infectious personality.” There is actually no bacterium present in the personality (or anything else contagious, for that matter). It is actually a combination of facial expressions, gestures and word-choice that many people just find pleasant. Although finals are coming up and my friends are becoming increasingly busy with projects and studying and the like, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that my personality is quite the opposite.

One thing I’ve noticed about my lifestyle is it’s rather on/off interpretation of hobbies, relationships and interests. I’ll play video games for two weeks straight then only want to do web development for the next month. When on the precipice of moods, I find it hard (and oftentimes tiresome) to push the previous mood through in the sake of competition (like to finish a game or a website). This past month has been all about people for me. I’ve managed to fall in love with Ashley all over again, and I’ve managed to make new friends with people I didn’t know and better friends with people I do know. I’ve always wanted someone to hang out with, and frankly, I feel like my attitude is beginning to turn people away.

I’ve probably called, texted or IMed all of my good friends once or twice per day for the past few weeks. At first, they were thrilled and excited to come over and hang out, but after three or four play-dates, it just seems like my personality and ideas of entertainment are becoming tiresome and boorish. I joke with Ashley about how I’m bugging everyone, or that my weird friend-crushes make people feel awkward and uncomfortable, but there’s a pitch in those confessions that I can’t help but hear truth in.

It’s probably silly that I feel this way about my friends—after all, they’re my friends—but I am worried that in making new friends I actually set myself up for loss. I mean, what can one do if they have a personality that is actually detrimental to popularity? Just make space, I suppose. If I only get a short burst of friends every so often, I might as well make each one count. Summer isn’t far off, so I’ll get a chance to see old faces at home and do quite a bit of networking at work. The warm weather and relocation will also put space between me and my friends here at college and by next semester, with some luck, they’ll have forgotten why they didn’t really like hanging out with me, giving me a fresh shot at some rawkin’ cool hanging outs.