Here's a song I wrote for Austin to play at his math talent show. Yeah, fuckin' math talent show. Quality sucks. Did it in one take in my new place while trying not to wake my roommate. Also, the second to last line should be "spellin' boobies," not "smellin' boobies." Although, you could throw in "smellin'" for kicks. I like this song, and will try to make it sound better later. :)
Since El left, I've been drained. My emotions have floated up and down on the wind, but never dipped below love. I worried about seeing her, about being with her, and I made mistakes. Mistakes that I can't even begin to justify or rationalize. They were mistakes to the point of being cruel, of being dirt, of being complete slime. And then it happened.
I stepped outside and looked up. Wow. I was totally going to blog about how beautiful the stars were, but then this song happened.
Not much to write about tonight. First, you should totally read this. It's brilliant. Second, I've never really felt like a song fit my life as much as Southern Belles In London Sing by The Faint does. Give it a listen on my muxtape.
The closer the 12th gets, the more El and I have been discussing plans for afterward. As much as I hate to think about the separation, and as much as I want to just not think about it, I think El summed it up best when she said, “It’s because I love you so much that I worry about the future.” Yes, it’s a difficult situation—she needs to live in England and I need to live in Alabama—but I refuse to see that as a sign of a sub-optimal solution. I’m sure something will trigger and a path will be blatantly obvious, and until that time comes, I’m trying to help her understand why there’s no reason to worry, but first, I need to help myself understand the same.