Avoidance is a skill I’ve been honing for the past few years. Not by necessity of course—I’ve always been able to speak my mind with startling clarity. Something in me just yearned for those awkward silences, smooth doubletalk and excessive topic twisting that allows me to break free from whatever bonds a conversation or argument may have me in. Although a well placed, “ROFL! Butts!” is an amazing smoke-screen, providing the perfect cover to escape from any conversation unscathed, my motives always ask for a little something more eloquent.
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It’s an unspoken truth—drama begets drama. The more anyone tries to get out of drama or just quit with the drama, more drama is created. As a matter of fact, in trying to explain myself I’m only creating more of the sticky substance, thicker than blood, less viscous that water and tenfold more corrosive to an ego.
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The more time I spend at this sad school, the more I notice how cliques and groups meld, mesh and interact. I notice new members gravitating toward a group and older one spalling off, ripping themselves from the group under pretenses either false or overly pretentious.
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I have a defense mechanism that triggers anytime I feel threatened, scared or ashamed, and I don’t particularly like it. Whenever someone confronts me, I curl up in the most metaphorical sense of the word, and just shut off. I stare into space, don’t respond, and just let my head bob up and down until whoever is confronting me either gives up, exasperated, or drops me and moves on. I often hurt afterwards, but so far I’ve been able to push any feelings of dark, writhing hate and pain deep inside myself and ignore it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt for the first bit.
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The sum of all forces acting on an object can be expressed as a single force. This is called the resultant vector of the system. In space, if a particle was created at point A, moved arbitrarily for twenty seconds, then came to a rest at point B, the vector of the particle's life would simply be the vector from A to B.
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