Grandeur

I hate getting all “emo,” but I am really tired of putting my all into many things and never getting anything back. I know that it is silly and self-centered, but I just can’t help but wonder, “Why does no one like my things? Why does no one care?” I have some hypotheses.

Everything that I ever thought mattered doesn’t. Yeah, right off the bat, I am already crushing with defeat. In time, I will realize the fallacy I have created, but until then, I will wallow around and wonder why I can’t finish a simple story or even write as often as I used to.

I can never finish anything. I know I have too many projects going on, but they are all things that I really want to see happen. I want to start a band. I want to write a novel. I want to be a web designer. I want to be a photographer. It’s all me, me, me, but I know they won’t ever happen. Perhaps it is all this hopeful pessimism that is really getting me down.

People don’t think as highly of my things as I do. Perhaps what I imagine to be neat and cool doesn’t really tickle other people’s fancy. I know to become popular I need to be well known, and to become well known I need to have more popularity. It’s a double-edged sword that consists of two edges both facing me. Yeah, swords like that really suck.

I guess I have nothing else to do but keep on writing and hoping that someone somewhere will be all like, “OMFG!” in my comments and I will be inspired to write something good. Until then, however, I’ll just continue to sulk.